Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Jauh

Assalamualaikum wbt..today, 23rd of Ramadhan. My mode: sad..There was a strange feeling inside me. It had started from last night..I tried to call my abah but he didnt answer it..Then this morning, I tried to call him again. Then alhamdulillah he answered the phone. I told him it was so hard to reach him.."Are you being very buzy??"..Then he said..No, but you didnt want to talk to me..I was shocked and then I asked him again I would never didnt want to talk to him. He said recently, everytime I called home, I just talked to my mum. Then when I reflected back, I agreed with him. But I didnt realize it. Now I knew that my abah was terasa with me..I asked for forgiveness and tears began to roll down my cheek. My abah laughed at me. He said never mind. It was just that time when I called his handphone and when he answered it, I said to him to pass his phone to mama without asking anything about him. He was terasa at that time and he said he had forgiven me after that. Eventhough my abah said that, I still had the guilt inside me. How could I had done that. Alhamdulillah Allah showed me my wrong doing and I still had the chance to repair it. Suddenly, I missed my family very very very much..Sometimes it made me thinking why Allah send me here. But there must be the hikmah why it was so..rite??So, I want to dedicate this song to all my believed family members or anybody that knows me...



One more thing, tonight during terawih, I had a nice chat with Kak Amrien. We were discussing about us during this Ramadhan. It was like we were having "futur iman"..(You know when you realize that your iman is going down). It should not be like this because in this last days of Ramadhan, you should accelerate your ibadah. But we were on the other side and we were very worried. It felt like something was lacking and it felt empty.Then one hadith came across my mind:

Rasulullah SAW bersabda: "Sesungguhnya hati manusia akan berkarat sebagaimana besi yang dirosakkan air. Seorang sahabat telah bertanya,"Apakah cara untuk menjadikan hati itu bersinar kembali? Jawab Rasulullah SAW: "Banyakkan mengingati mati dan membaca Quran"(Hadis Riwayat Baihaqi dari Ibnu Umar)

If we are saying that we don't read the Quran, it is not true as I believe that all of us are struggling to finish 30 juzuk in this Ramadhan. But it actually tells us that what is our "niat" of reciting the Quran. Is it just about finishing the 30 juzuk or you want Allah's bless??Things for us to ponder... :(

Ramadhan terus berlalu,
Meninggalkan insan yang masih terkapai-kapai
Mencari cahaya yang dijanjikanNya

Beku airmata daripada mengalir
Yang dahulunya laju untuk RabbNya
Dimanakah silapnya, di manakah puncanya

Muhasabah diri, insafi diri
Tuhanmu tidak pernah meninggalkanmu
Hanya Engkau yang lari dariNya

Kuatkan hati mohon kekuatan dariNya
Capailah darjat taqwa seperti yang tertulis dalam kalamNya
Semoga Ramadhan ini meninggalkan seribu makna

Wallahualam...

4 comments:

biskut marie said...

Salam fariena, selamat berpuasa..semuga ditemui LailatulQadr. =)

-LySa- said...

u know, i called my dad straight after i read this post.i felt better after dat listening to dad's happy voice yg dh lame xdgr.huhu.mcm it kinda hit me.it's true ,smtimes we tink our dad mcm xkesah je, but deep down we never know kan.n mcm myb smtimes we just forget to appreciate both of them as much.or smtimes we always tink that they are always there,so mcm smtimes lupe nak acknowledge lebeh sikit.well actually reminding myself especially.huhu.

c u around ;)

-LySa- said...

n thanx for making me remember.

take care :D

nurilahi said...

to biskut marie: insyaAllah same2 kita cari ye..tp sape gerangan biskut marie ni ye??

to kak lysa: its true akak...we tend to forget to acknowledge people yg always be there for us. This is my first time ever having my dad terasa just because of thing like this. Tak terpk pun..because klau mak yg terasa agak logik la kn sbb mak kn sensitif sket..but its daddy..it teaches me alot..huhu..lenkali call kene ckp ngan both of them..